Married To Nascar: A Salute To The Women Who "Made The Grade"

Admit it if you dare, ladies.  At least once, we've all dreamed of being the one who shares the spotlight with a favorite Nascar driver: from the Victory Lane kiss at the end of a hard-driven 500 miles, to the reserved seating in Las Vegas as a given season's accomplishments are rewarded (doubly so if that accomplishment happens to be a series championship), to the enjoyment of the reverence, respect and even the envy of the millions of other women who would all but sell their souls for a mere single day of walking in your shoes.  To grasp for and ultimately attain our spot in Nascar's elite "inner circle" would be nothing less than the culmination of a dream-come-true for many of us who sleep, eat, breathe and live our lives fueled by that "need for speed" that only the most charismatic of drivers could ultimately satisfy. 

 

It is a status that many desire, a select few obtain, and that a silent minority all too quickly discover that in all reality, the glamour and glitz of being "Mrs. Nascar" are better left to fantasy.

 

In other words, the Nascar wife is a lady of a truly rare and special caliber.

 

She is the one who learns all too quickly that "for better, for worse" can manifest itself as "the worst" at the mere turn of a corner; the one who never knows if the "kiss for luck" before her husband climbs into his car is in actuality "a kiss goodbye;" the one who posesses an amazing ability to step back and smile when an entourage of female admirers throngs her husband in search of an autograph (oftentimes on "body parts"), knowing that ultimately "she" is the one that he will be taking home; the one who must also share the "love of her life" with team owners, sponsors, crew members, teammates, the media and once again, the die-hard fans, without so much as blinking an eye because it "comes with the territory."

 

Contrary to the public image which she must continually maintain for the sake of her man's career, the lifestyle is nothing close to the glamourous, enviable image that those of us who romanticize it from afar may be led to believe.  For 36 weeks out of every year, these women quietly accept the fact that "team time" must often take precedence over "family time;" that they, the faithful wives, are left to manage family emergencies, sibling rivalries, bloody noses, soccer practices, blown fuses, overflowing toilets, financial crises and the like, in the absence of the head of the household; and further, they appear for all intents and purposes to accept the role and its accompanying responsibilities as "all in a day's work," without openly voicing a single complaint.

 

In actuality, how many of us who so easily romanticize her lifestyle from a distance could truly measure up under the constant pressure of being in the limelight and upholding an image "expected" by those to whom her husband is constantly at the beckoning call?  And realistically speaking, who among us could exhibit a strength equal to the likes of Teresa Earnhardt, Liz Allison and Susan Bonnett among others, whose husbands were laid to rest in the sudden and unexpected aftermath of the unthinkable; or mothers of the caliber of Judy Allison, Martha Nemechek and Patti Petty whose sons were taken in the midst of what should have been the prime of their lives?  Indeed, these ladies and many others are genuine representations of the most tremendous of strengths under the most tragic of circumstances, qualities that the rest of us can only admire and appreciate from afar.  And dream though we may of stepping into their shoes and onto the arm of one of Nascar's most talented and irresistably handsome gentlemen, in all reality the aspects so freely glamourized by the media disappear into oblivion the moment that the cameras stop rolling, the moment the race of the week is forever recorded in the sport's history books, the moment that a beloved driver is seriously injured or killed and the loving wife is left behind to pick up the pieces on her own in the face of the unthinkable...in short, it is a position that many desire but few could truly measure up to.  And bearing in mind the "reality" behind the demanding schedules, business and sponsor obligations, millions of adoring female fans and the underlying sense of dread when facing the very real possibility of sudden and tragic loss, this writer has come to the realistic conclusion that such an honor is better bestowed upon those ladies who are more closely rooted and grounded in the sport than the average observer: those possesing the inner strength of Teresa Earnhardt; or the business-savvy aptitude of Delana Harvick; the quiet and graceful presence of Krissy Newman, Katie Kenseth or Ingrid Vandebosch-Gordon; the loyal and supportive (albeit extremely nervewracking) on-camera demeanor of Kim Burton, etc.  As for me (and most likely every other female who has ever secretly dreamed of becoming part of the enviable "Nascar Wife" inner circle), I shall henceforth and forever remain content to enjoy the status of "loyal fan" and support my driver of choice from the comfort of my faithful living room couch, thus eliminating the exhausting outside obligations and expectations that go hand-in-hand with the image, or the urge to reach out and smack every dreamy-eyed female fan requesting my man's autograph in permanent marker on "parts unmentionable."

 

But the best part of keeping things simple?  By far, the clear and unobstructed view of that awesome signature "Victory Backflip" from the comfort and privacy of my own living room.

 

I think I can live with that!